Top 10 Weird Ways Terrorism is Just Like Running a Business — TopTenzNet

Top 10 Weird Ways Terrorism is Just Like Running a Business — TopTenzNet

10 Bizarre Ways Terrorism is Just Like Running
a Business From the outside, life as a terrorist seems
pretty simple. Grow a crappy beard, start shouting hateful slogans and then spitefully
kill some innocent people. Easy, right? Wrong. Far from living out their lives as the bad
guys in an action movie, it turns out terrorists have to do a whole lotta grunt work to keep
themselves relevant. In a weird way, keeping an organization like al-Qaeda going is almost
no different from running an extremely murderous business. 10. It’s All About the Branding Let’s say you were planning to set up a
deadly terror group. You’ve got your insane goals in mind, a bundle of illegal weapons,
and a hankering to kill some infidels. All you need now are recruits. So, just find some
other nutcases with similar leanings and convince them to take up arms, right? You couldn’t be more wrong. Apparently even
potential terrorists think like regular jobseekers. Most of them loathe the idea of joining an
unknown ‘company’ with no solid brand identity. Like talented employees to a business,
terrorists are attracted to big name global brands. Guys like al-Qaeda and ISIS put an
insane amount of effort into building their name-recognition, in the hopes of attracting
more educated, wealthy candidates. By contrast, less well-known groups mostly have to build
their armies out of bumbling nincompoops. Having a brand identity is so important that
terror groups put insane amounts of thought into it. According to analysts, everything
from the color of the logo to its typeface are designed to evoke a group’s mission;
with ISIS’s black flag presumably being the jihadi equivalent of McDonalds golden
arches. 9. Recruitment is Key What do you think would happen if you tried
to join al-Qaeda? Most of us would probably assume we’d be taken to a remote mountain
and handed a gun (or possibly kidnapped by the NSA). The reality is quite different.
When marines raided Osama Bin Laden’s compound in 2011, they discovered something wholly
unexpected: recruitment forms. Apparently, CV writing skills were essential
for joining the jihad movement. Alongside questions about education and weapons training,
potential martyrs were asked to fill out details of their hobbies and answer essay-style questions
about their personal development goals (presumably, ‘kill a lot of people’ was an acceptable
answer). Essentially, it was the same process as when you apply to any company, from Wall
St to Walmart, only with no penalties for scrawling ‘death to the West!’ in block
capitals. But the craziest question of all came last.
Where most companies ask for contact details in the case of an emergency, the al-Qaeda
version politely enquired “Who should we contact in case you became a martyr?” 8. Competing for Investment One of the most-exhausting aspects of starting
a new business is drumming up capital. Schmoozing venture capitalists or just getting excited
young investors onboard for the long haul can be tiring. Terrorists understand that
pain. Far from solely funding their nefarious plans through kidnapping and drug running,
many of them are forced to seek out wealthy investors with an interest in mass murder. One example of this is al-Qaeda sucking up
to rich Saudis to bankroll their reign of terror, seeking out the jihadist equivalent
of venture capitalists. But the IRA also used to go on fundraising drives; sending Republican
dissidents to the US to solicit donations. In Latin America, Colombia’s FARC are said
to schmooze with rich Venezuelans, seeking the collapse of a neighbouring state as return
for their investment. The ability to get financial backing can float
or sink a terror group as easily as a start-up. One of the main reasons al-Qaeda are a spent
force is because ISIS is so much better at getting investors onboard. 7. Recruitment Ads Successful business recruitment ads have a
simple playbook. They aim to present working culture in a positive light, show the benefits
of joining up, and convey exactly what sort of person they want. They usually achieve
this through lots of pictures of people smiling, and meaningless slogans like “proud to be
working for our future.” They’re not the only ones. This exact same model has been
copied by ISIS. We kid you not. Islamic State have a well-funded
advertising department that’s constantly churning out ‘inspiring’ photo essays
about life in the Caliphate. Rather than focussing on innocent civilians being beheaded, most
are pretty cheesy. There are smiling pictures of people picking grapes; of guys going fishing
at sunset; of parents playing with their kids in the local swimming pool. You half expect
an American voiceover to come on, saying “at Islamic State, we care about our employees’
future…” Amusing as this is, it’s also kind of sinister.
By stealing techniques from corporate advertisers, ISIS have managed to pull in more recruits
than nearly any other group on Earth. 6. Outreach Recruiting A fixture of modern businesses are outreach
recruitment days. Although not every company does it, a good number take the time to tour
campuses and even high schools, giving presentations on their work. And guess what? If you want
to bring down civilization, you’re gonna have to do the exact same thing. In Colombia, Marxist revolutionary rebels
FARC tour the rural parts of the country, actively giving recruitment presentations
in high schools. Students are given a talk and some reasons for joining, and then get
a chance to sign up with the Earth’s third best-funded terrorist organization. Surprisingly,
plenty leap at the opportunity. Less openly, but still pretty brazen, extremist groups
in the UK are known to recruit through university societies. Rather than go through shady parts
of the dark web, they simply sign people up on campus during study time. 5. Corporate Social Responsibility Corporate social responsibility is big business’s
way of saying “we care.” By taking interest in climate change and CO2 reductions, or by
organizing a bit of charity work, corporations can show they’re more than just soulless
multinationals. That they care about the world we live in. Oddly, it works the same way for
terror groups. Guys like al-Qaeda have previously gone out of their way to combat climate change. For an organization that revels in the deaths
of thousands, worrying about the future safety of their fellow humans seems like an odd one.
But that’s the beauty of the terrorist mind set: it doesn’t matter if your positions
are contradictory because everyone knows you’re freakin’ nuts. In a letter to their members
way back in 2011, the group implored fighters not to cut down trees without planting new
ones. It also asked them all to be conscious about the environmental impact of their actions,
such as (we guess) from setting off gigantic explosions. It was like one of those memos
your boss sends out about not using too much photocopier paper… if your boss spent his
working time planning indiscriminate attacks on faraway civilians. 4. Social Media Presence If you want to grow your business, social
media’s a necessary evil. Facebook competitions, interacting with customers on Twitter, and
pinning cheesy photos of your employees’ teambuilding day on Instagram are all considered
essential in our modern tech-dystopia. You might think a bunch of medievalist murderers
who want to recreate the worst aspects of the 8th century would shun such Western decadence.
You’d be wrong. ISIS are so enamoured with social media that
they have their own dedicated media center. They have active accounts on Twitter, Facebook
and Pinterest and advertise like any socially clued-up US company. There are people who
spend all day sat in a room in Mosul, rewriting famous memes so they carry the ISIS brand.
Others tweet informal pictures of jihadists hanging together after a hard day’s genocide,
going on fun days out, or even posing with cats. It’s like they looked into the dark
heart of social media advertising and decided to turn all the stuff we love into an evil
mirror image of itself. Like a tech-savvy business, this model is driving ISIS’s western
recruitment numbers through the roof. 3. Employee Days Out Ask any business owner the key to their success,
and they’ll say ‘keeping their best employees happy.’ That means stuff like perks, bonuses
and recognition of hard work. It also means organizing things like company days out, where
your workers get to bond over a spot of bungee jumping (or whatever). If you want to keep
your future martyrs happy, you better do that too. Group bonding days are the same in terror
groups as they are in any company. The Leeds-based cell that orchestrated the London bombings
used to take its future-martyrs white water rafting. Because we all know there’s nothing
like a spot of extreme sports to get the jihadi juices flowing. In rural Colombia, FARC run
excursion days into the jungle, where recruits can make camps and practice what to do in
case they get hit by a government airstrike. And that’s before we even mention that hilarious
old photo of far-right psychos the KKK having a fun day out at the fair together that we
just used for this entry. 2. Training Courses The flip side of fun employee days out are
training days. If you’re running a good business, you need to be stumping up that
cash to make sure your guys are at the top of their game. Sending them on courses to
learn new skills, sending them off on weekend retreats to brush up on their management expertise…
these are all things a company should be doing. Want to guess who else does this? If you said ‘terrorists,’ congratulations.
You’ve figured out how this thing works. Murderous psychopaths need as much training
to stay on top of their game as anyone. This means their bosses need to pay the money to
send them away to training camps. Once there, they can pick up new skills like bomb making,
using snipers or hijacking airliners. Some organizations even run ‘conferences’ where
a whole lotta bad guys can get together to swap techniques. The IRA used to travel to
Libya to train with Islamic extremists. FARC used to get together with Basque separatists
ETA to build up one another’s skills. 1. Outsourcing Finally, in our increasingly globalized world,
many companies are taking advantage of outsourcing. If your business needs something doing and
there’s no-one in house to do it, why not simply hire someone with the expertise to
do the job in your name as a one off? For terrorists too incompetent to carry out their
own attacks, this has been a popular method. In the 1970s, the Japanese Red Army Faction
basically ran their group as a kind of terrorist consultancy firm. Other organizations handed
over jobs to them, and they went out and killed people. Famously, the Palestinian Liberation
Organization hired them to attack Lod Airport in Israel, killing 26. At other times, they
were hired to hijack airliners. Islamic groups looking to outsource frequently
hire in fighters from al-Qaeda and ISIS, who are always willing to have their ‘staff’
help in any form of jihad. Plenty of old Chechen terror cells now work almost-exclusively as
guns for hire. They may have different goals, but terror groups have more in common with
businesses than you think. Only with, y’know, more murdering and stuff.

86 thoughts on “Top 10 Weird Ways Terrorism is Just Like Running a Business — TopTenzNet”

  1. Ahh poor terrorist there just trying to get more followers on facebook page. Why does the western world hate them so much.

  2. At 2:54 if u read the CV/paper a li'll carefully it looks like those terrorists like Al-qayeda, ISIS, taleban using the "Islam" (religion) or "Allah" (god) to manipulate the ordinary good people against the west or wealthy as if they're doing the god's work and vowing to die for the god…son of a btch! 🙁

  3. I'm going to file this under "Top 10's no one asked for" and also "Things Terrorists are most-likely to watch"

  4. Is it just me who has been having trouble with these videos lately?
    They keep freezing on both my phone and tablet, and it's only this channel I have problems with.

  5. What does the suicide bomber say when he teaches new recruits?

    Listen carefully, because i will only show it once

  6. Just knowing that terrorists "care about the environment" makes me REALLY want to by a Cadillac Escalade!

  7. ISIS strength is that its a state- a stated heart of Islam. They don't accept Saudi Arabia as a legitimate Islamic state. What other religion has people pray to a city and have to visit a city once in your lift. Shari Law has a big basis in having a caliph- Islamic ruler- part of judiciary. All this other stuff is just being a state. This list should be been how how terrorist groups are just like countries.

  8. What is your problem with Saudi first you show late King Abdullad while talking about killing infidels while in reality he was the most reliable ally of the west after Israel .Then you show Saudi Defense Minister while talking about rich Saudis funding terrorist while in realty he did more to fight terrorists then any of his predecessors. Stop this subliminal messaging .

  9. With the line about groing a crappy beard it's kinda ignoring that less than 20 years ago most terrorists were catholic.

  10. So ISIS is basically a company, Republi-cunts support big corporations, Republi-cunts support ISIS like organizations.

  11. #AMessageFromIsisToU.S. thanks for the endless supply of Toyota pick ups and U.S. army standard issue M16's

  12. Hey Simon, I really love your videos and yours in one of my favorite channels on YouTube, what I don't understand is why there is so much echo in your voice through you are using a throat microphone.

  13. The war on terrorism is a business look at all these so called experts writing books' selling arms' and on on on.

  14. Well if you truly believe you're going to save the future, you'd prolly wanna show that, rather than whatever work you choose to do for that goal.

  15. Your making them sound amazing days out, bonding, caring about the environment mmmmm if only our corporates where as iendly

  16. wait did you just call Marxists terrorists??
    when the fucking MILITARY is actually recruiting propel to literally kill others and possibly DIE in colleges and high schools and propaganda ads??

    sorry but even those of us who endorse violence take a defensive position on the subject. basically we aren't going to kill a cop unless they threaten us first, but we aren't going to be completely docile sheep either.

    if anyone is a terrorist it's the state.

  17. Establishing an identity is also important for them so that they can actually get their message across. Since terrorism is the practice of committing acts of violence to get across e certain message or to scare people or governments to bow to the terrorists' demands, committing terror attacks would be useless if no one knew who they were or what they wanted.

  18. Wow. I'm just…wow.

    ISIS makes all this trash talk about western decadence and yet, they run their operation using a Western business model (and even have Western style benefits and perks). Certainly destroys the idea I always have had about terrorists (at least the most well known ones).

    Also, KKK Members on a Ferris Wheel. I feel like posting that picture anywhere makes many arguments obsolete solely on insanity.

  19. Just a correction, the KKK were far leftest founded by Democrats after the American Civil War for the purpose of killing blacks, Jews, and Republicans.

  20. Actually for number 3 there is another reason. One of the rules of warfare in Islam is that you are not supposed to cut down trees. Mind you they are breaking many other rules – the key one being you do not kill innocents.

  21. This channel needs to fire whoever checks the scripts and research, its absolutely horrible. And FFS work on the pronunciations.

  22. This sounds like an essay written by some kid in Syria who just wrote aboutt a business model he knew of or had seen work..

  23. The IRA are not and have never been a terrorist group. The United States would be terrorist in the 1770's by this logic. Civilians were never intentionally targeted all but one bombing was well advertised in advance and the targets were always political. And, that single bombing was accidental and tragic. There would be no IRE without the IRA and no USA without the continental army.

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